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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

CIII. Man of God

Simply put, I am a sinner.  I have done it all.  I have taken God's name and profaned it by using it in ways to damn people, by making promises I did not keep, by being a horrible witness of Christian to those who need help.  I have taken items that I own and made them more special than what they are, escalated them above things I should not have anyway, placed them above things of the spirit, dedicated them before I worshiped God above and have put money on a pedestal.  I have made the day of rest unholy by not caring about people, by not taking time to reflect upon the glories I have been given from the slightest to the largest.  I have dishonored my parents and their names by yelling at them, making fun of them, and forgetting them in times of their need.  I have slaughtered my brothers and neighbors with my actions of neglect or abuse and my words of anger and apathy.  I have looked at other women in ways that I should never have done with my eyes and heart.  I have taken things that were not mine.  And if I did not take them I thought about it and desired after them and planned ways of getting them.  I sometimes do not give what I need to give or help when I need to help.  I do not always tell the truth even when the truth is easier.  I sin all the time.  I do these things constantly.  My actions do not always reflect who I should be.  I fail every day.  I forget to love.  I judge people.  I do not show compassion.  I am pathetic.  I am a loser.  Simply put, I am evil.  I deserve death.  I deserve punishment.  My sins have added up so much over the years that I don not deserve the things in my life.
So why do you ask how am I still a man of God?  Because, I am forgiven!
Because no matter how many times I fail I still try and stand up for what is right even though the world sees it as wrong or intolerant.  I stand up for the morals that God wrote down even though I can never stand up to the measurement.  I still try and live the example that Jesus Christ set for me even if I get ridiculed.  No matter what I do though, I still fail.  I am not a man of God by what I have done.  I am a man of God because of what He has done.  I am not a man of God because I succeed.  I am a man of God because I rely upon Him to help heal what I have done.  I am not a man of God because I shine.   I am a man of God because He is my light.  I am not a man of God because I am perfect.  I am a man of God because I am not perfect.  I am a man of God because I need Him.  By His mercy I am forgiven.
Yes, even though I am a sinner, I am a man of God.


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